


Fee, Fie

by beer_good



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: 3 Sentence Ficathon, 3 Sentence Fiction, Gen, Libraries, Unseen University
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-14
Updated: 2015-02-14
Packaged: 2018-03-12 10:00:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3352472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beer_good/pseuds/beer_good
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three-sentence fic: What does the Librarian do to students who don't return books?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fee, Fie

Written for the [3 Sentence Ficathon](http://rthstewart.dreamwidth.org/119267.html) and (anonymous) prompt Discworld, the Librarian, students who don't return books

 **Fee, Fie**  
They assume that the librarian must have a formal system for how to deal with unreturned books; a list of student's addresses, a set of boilerplate letters with increasing urgency ranging from "We would like to inquire" to "Due to your lack of compliance in this matter you are hereby" etc, and a set of fines ranging from "Oh, we'll overlook it this time" to "Congratulations, you just paid for a new wing of the main university building" 1.

They assume this, but truth be told, no one has seen the system in action; most students, upon finding a banana peel on their windowsill, show up at the library no more than ten minutes later, often returning books that don't even carry a library stamp or, in at least one case, cannot possibly have been written for another three years.

1 In the past, there were several cases where students attempted to attach actual wings to the university building during rag week; this was actively discouraged following the mysterious flattening of dormitory 3 in 1875.


End file.
